So yeah… The title explains it all. Really. It’s a roller-coaster that’s designed to kill you. Not in some heavy-handed, mafia, butcher-block way either. Sure it would be easy to just shove a herd of fat stupid idiots onto a roller-coaster and then lower a blade, oh, around neck height for the average human on the last drag hill. But man that’s messy. And you can’t get high school students to wash down the track every day. They get lazy, then the tracks get gooey, then you can’t decapitate easily.
No sir-ee! What you need is a method to kill your riders with minimum amount of sickening violence! And the answer to your query is as simple as the Euthanasia Coaster!
Euthanasia Coaster (or as I prefer to call it “The Deathcoaster”) is simple (and elegant) in it’s design. The coaster consists of two main sections a speed hill, and a corkscrew. The hill lifts the victims, errrr riders (right, riders) to a height of 500m, that’s almost 1700 feet for us folks in the US. The grand height is necessary to get the cars and all of it’s victims, errrr riders (I keep forgetting to call them that) up to nearly terminal velocity (220 mph). The cars then careen into a series of seven corkscrew turns of diminishing diameter. The reason you ask? As the car slows, the smaller loop size is required to keep the rider at a CONSTANT 10Gs for the length of the corkscrew. That’s 60 uninterrupted seconds at a sustained 10 Gs.
Guess what folks, you don’t survive that. All the blood rushes out of your silly skull and you die of cerebral hypoxia like its your job, because at that point…. it IS your job.
Designed by a student at the Royal College of Arts in London this is the kind of interesting, brilliant, and frankly crazy idea we’ve come to expect from the Brits! Doctor Who, Monty Python, and the Deathcoaster!
God Save the Queen!